Ways for Fox Business News to differentiate itself from CNBC

The Minyanville site is quickly becoming one of my favorites, particularly for its humorous take on business news issues. (See its cartoon about the Maria Bartiromo controversy.)

Anyway, Kevin Depew, writing the daily Five Things You Need to Know to Stay Ahead of the Pack on Wall Street column, has come up with a list of ways that Fox Business News can distinguish its coverage from rival business news channel CNBC when it launches later this year.

They are:

1. Bearish analysts referred to as communists.

2. CEO’s served complimentary caviar and champagne in green room.

3. Declining dollar? Burn the George Soros effigy doll!

4. Anchors will conclude each positive trading day by lighting up a giant “victory” cigar on air with a hundred dollar bill.

5. Fair and balanced air time given to both bulls AND superbulls.

6. And joining us now is the real Fed Chairman, Dick Cheney!

7. The phrase “white collar crime” replaced with the phrase “CEO shenanigans.”

8. Once a quarter, before market opens, Roger Ailes will appear live on camera and eat a poor person.

Read more here.