Frankie Flack: Enough with the April Fools’ releases

I have a tradition today. I take the day off as a “floating holiday.” I remove the battery from my cell phone. I shut down my wi-fi. And then I settle into my den and watch all three Godfathers, back to back.

That’s because I’m in the information business, and for those of us in this business, there’s not much good to going into the office on April Fools’ Day. Today, there are two kinds of companies: those pushing out dumb, fake press releases in the name of “humor,” and those that are avoiding pushing out real news into an environment where everyone assumes everything could be fake.

I don’t really object to April Fools. If you want to give you kids a dribble glass or put Saran Wrap over the toilet seat, knock yourself out. And in a more innocent time, when April Fools didn’t warrant a constantly updated list of branded pranks on Buzzfeed (not going to link to it), I appreciated the occasional over-the-top effort. There was a novelty to it. (Specifically, I have a soft spot in my heart for Sports Illustrated’s full-on hoax from 1985, in which the first letter of each word in the first graf spells HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY.)

But creating fake news–a sin that has become increasingly common among both companies and media outlets–has simply gone too far. The issue with corporate April Fools pranks is that there is an impossible line to straddle: either they’re clearly goofy (and less funny than the marketing department believes) or they’re subtle and believable … and therefore force journalist to work extra hard to suss out the joke. Either way, it’s a waste of my time.

How do you fight back? I have two suggestions:

One: Take the day off. I realize that not everyone can take a vacation day, but if you’re in the press, take it easy today. Spend a little extra time with the paper this morning. Don’t write on anything. Take a three-hour lunch. And if any of my colleagues call and cuss you out for passing on the news of the day, tell ’em you’re treating April 1 like you treat the day after Thanksgiving until marketing departments keep their amateur comics in check.

Two: If a company you cover puts out fake news, call and bitch. Doesn’t matter if the flacks aren’t responsible; they need to hear the feedback.

And if you need me, your best bet will be wait until tomorrow. I’m avoiding the jokes and spending the day with the Corleones. No joke.