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OLD Media Moves
What Fox Business Channel might sound like
February 19, 2007
Daniel Chun, a writer for “The Simpsons” TV show, has unearthed for New York magazine what he believes to be an unaired early transcript of the forthcoming Fox Business Channel.
Here’s an excerpt:
Susan Caroll:We don’t have exact figures, but many couldn’t afford Kobe beef.
Anchor: Not even American Kobe-style Wagyu? Good Lord. How much of their diet was foraged acorns? Tree sap?
Susan: Let’s not dwell on the past. Just be glad that today’s CEOs get the pay raises and golden parachutes they deserve—no, need.
Anchor: Now, just to play devil’s advocate, a lot of people would say these golden parachutes are not nearly golden enough. How do you respond to such charges?
Susan: We realize that in these days of Democratic majorities, it’s quite possible that newly unemployed CEOs are entering an economy on the verge of absolute, Carter-style collapse. Assuring that these CEOs are taken care of is a top priority. In preparation for the living nightmare of an Obama or a Clinton being elected in 2008, we’ve begun stockpiling those barrels that poor people in cartoons wear.
Read more here. D-ohh!
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