Daniel Chun, a writer for “The Simpsons” TV show, has unearthed for New York magazine what he believes to be an unaired early transcript of the forthcoming Fox Business Channel.
Here’s an excerpt:
Anchor: And now we turn to a recent study that found that in 2005, CEO pay was 411 times that of an average workerâ€”up from 107 times the average workerâ€™s pay in 1990. With us is business expert Susan Caroll. Susan, was CEO pay in 1990 really that low? How many suffered from malnutrition?
Susan Caroll:We donâ€™t have exact figures, but many couldnâ€™t afford Kobe beef.
Anchor: Not even American Kobe-style Wagyu? Good Lord. How much of their diet was foraged acorns? Tree sap?
Susan: Letâ€™s not dwell on the past. Just be glad that todayâ€™s CEOs get the pay raises and golden parachutes they deserveâ€”no, need.
Anchor: Now, just to play devilâ€™s advocate, a lot of people would say these golden parachutes are not nearly golden enough. How do you respond to such charges?
Susan: We realize that in these days of Democratic majorities, itâ€™s quite possible that newly unemployed CEOs are entering an economy on the verge of absolute, Carter-style collapse. Assuring that these CEOs are taken care of is a top priority. In preparation for the living nightmare of an Obama or a Clinton being elected in 2008, weâ€™ve begun stockpiling those barrels that poor people in cartoons wear.
Read more here. D-ohh!