Categories: OLD Media Moves

The Onion: CNBC will hire anyone

The latest issue of The Onion, the satirical newspaper, had the following news item in its latest issue about business news network CNBC:

“Citing a need to provide quality programming 24 hours a day, CNBC has extended an invitation to anyone who owns a suit to drop by the financial news network and be a guest expert, cohost a show with Larry Kudlow, or do whatever.

“‘Don’t worry about what kind of shape your suit is in,’ said CNBC president Mark Hoffman, who explained that his network’s studio has an iron and some old phone books that people can press their jackets on. ‘Just come on down, run a comb through your hair, and if you’re here by 8 a.m., we’ll have you on Squawk Box at 8:15 making stock picks. But don’t forget your suit!’

“Hoffman added that men of ruddy complexion with neck sizes exceeding 19 inches are not required to wear a tie.”