Parsing executive departures

Mike Hoban, a Fast Company magazine blogger, has some great definitions that help explain what a company is saying when it parts ways with one of its executives, such as “leaving the company to pursue other interests.”

Here are some examples:

“Mr. Jones resigned under pressure.”
What it really means:  “We would have fired the guy if he hadn’t quit.  In fact, we would have pushed him down the elevator shaft if we could have gotten away with it.”

“Mr. Jones inspired passion in our customers.”
What it really means:  “Just the mention of his name would cause our customers’ faces to turn purple in rage.”

“He will be remembered long after he leaves.”
What it really means:  “We can’t remove the obscenities on the bathroom walls that were spray painted about him by many of the employees.”

“He demonstrated a passion for numbers.”
What it really means:  “He never did anything at the office except to work sudoku puzzles.”

Read more here.